Excuses, Excuses...

Want to know the best way to be able to use excuses and get away with it?  Pregnancy.  I didn't realize what a powerful tool pregnancy could be in this category until this past week.  Remember...my brain is a little slow (and you are completely forgiving me now, right??).  I was on a panel for new students at the community college where I work.  I answered questions about tutoring, library,and accommodative services.  We had two days of responding to the same questions 3 times each day.  It was very informative for the students, but also a bit monotonous for the panel.  At the end of the sixth time delivering the same information, I exclaimed to my coworker how I was going back to my office for a nap.  (*Disclaimer-Of course, I was kidding, though it would be awesome...in case my boss takes a gander at this).  My coworker responded with, "I agree.  At least you have an excuse" and my secret weapon was discovered.

"I'm hungry...and I've already eaten six pizzas."  Response?  You are pregnant...eat as much as you need.

"I'm tired...and I slept all night plus took a nap."  Response?  You are pregnant...sleep as long as you need.

Hysterical crying...

Obnoxious gas...

Horrific tantrums...

Breathlessness at walking three steps...

Walking into the kitchen for my wallet and forgetting it all three consecutive times...(this actually happened this afternoon)...

It all boils down to people giving me the pass because of my pregnancy.  As one gracious friend told me yesterday, "You are creating a human being."  

While I will try not to abuse my new super power, it certainly could become a useful tool.  I would also not become pregnant just in an effort to earn this privilege.  While it's awesome for now, it has dire consequences.  1) The whole morning sickness, yuckiness that accompanies the beginning of pregnancy, 2) 18 years of a child trying to cop excuses at you...  and 3) What is 3 again?  Sorry...I can't remember...pregnancy *sigh.

Squishy ville, bats, and doctors appointments.

8-7-13

So the other night, Shawna wanted me to feel her belly.  Apparently when a woman is pregnant, as the baby grows, the uterus feels like a rock.  So I was poking around and sure enough, hard as a rock.  The mistake I made (and to my own credit, this week has been a rough week for sleeping, so keep that in mind when reading this next part) - as I was poking around I got to what was the edge of her uterus and I said, this part is still Squishy ville....   I will try not to make this mistake again, Shawna was a good sport, but it was still a bad choice of wording....

Lets go back to Saturday night to explain the sleep deprivation...

We were sleeping, or rather falling asleep.  I heard a noise, looked down beside the bed and saw something crawling on the floor.  I didn't think anything of it, as i was mostly asleep when i saw it.  about 14 seconds later it was flying around the room.  As panic set in, i nudged Shawna, and said "Shawna (when i call her by name she knows something is wrong) cover your head, there is a bat in here".  she didn't believe me right off, and peeked around, saw the bat and then made herself a mummy under the covers.  I laid in bed for what seemed like days, contemplating my next move.  the bat then landed on the door frame, mocking us as this was our only escape, and of course right next to the light switches....   As i waited for its next move, i slowly opened the curtain, and opened the window.  The bat, not wanting to make it easy on us, then started circling the room, which made me cover my head.... not really the best move, as our blankets are not see through, and i now couldn't see where the bat was.   a little bit later i heard scratching, thought it was on the floor again (someone told me that if a bat is on the floor it cant fly (which is a load of crap BTW)) so i uncovered and opened the screen, saw the bat wasn't flying around, and turned the light and fan on.  i spotted the vulture sized critter in the garbage and covered him up while i contemplated my next move...  as i was getting a pillow case to put him in, he escaped the poorly covered garbage can and started flying again.  so i covered my head with one hand / arm, and swatted at him with a pillow case.  as i was on the verge of screaming like a girl, i connected and he fell to the bed.  this of course made Shawna shriek "is it on me, is it on me?"  as i collected my slightly squeamish self, i covered him up with the pillow case and as he tried to escape again, i grabbed the pillow case and bat, and threw it out the window.  and then slammed the window shut.  then the willies set in.  i started shaking, probably spouted some gibberish and began freaking out.  this all happened between 10 and 10:30 pm...
needless to say, we slept with the lights on Saturday night, what sleep we did get anyways.
Sunday night, we slept with the TV on, no bat.  maybe it was the 4592345 cans of spray foam i used to close up any and all cracks i could find in the bedroom and other upstairs rooms and closets.  at least the ones that were dime sized and bigger, as bats can get into some pretty small holes.
Monday night we slept with the TV on, no bat.
Tuesday night we slept with the TV on, no bat.  is it over?  will we be able to survive this, or will we have to put the house on the market?  i didn't sleep much, but if i don't sleep, my fuse is pretty short and i can get unbearable to live with...
Wednesday night (last night) - our visitor came back.....  i don't know if i have ever been more irritated by anything in my life.  instead of waking Shawna this time, i covered her up all the way (which woke her up).  she asked if there was another bat, and i think i grunted yes...  she kept asking me stuff, which i didn't answer because i was fuming.  as he was circling, i opened the window.  then he decided to climb up and down the curtains.... if i could have gotten up without him flying at me, i would have, then tackled him to the ground and strangled him... but the girl in me didn't dare...  a few more circles and i was able to slide the curtain open and the screen.  he decided to walk the curtain rod like a circus freak a few times, and then fly around and then out the window... and then i slammed the window shut...  tonight we go to war...  the bat obviously didn't get the message the first and second time, and i don't really want a bat in my house again.  and i do enjoy sleeping.  the bat dies the next time it enters my bedroom.  my pregnant wife does not need to deal with this, i will protect her and our unborn baby.  even if it takes me hiking my skirt up to do it, swallowing my pride, screaming a war cry as any 14 year old girl might, and doing the deed...

Today, 8-8-13

We did end up getting to sleep after a bit last night, fitful as it was, it was sleep.  today we had the big anatomical sonogram.  today we found out what sex the baby is.  i was hoping to do this on a little more sleep.  so when i saw the sonogram screen with fingers, toes, arms, hands, feet, legs, i wouldn't cry as much as i did.  but oh well, its a beautiful thing, something i have never seen with my own eyes before.  a wonderful creation of ours wriggling and kicking.  there are no words to describe what it meant to see that today.  as time went on, and the technician showed us the different anatomical features of our baby, i just got more and more caught up in the moment.  we saw the 4 chambers of the heart, the brain and all the different parts that i cannot spell or pronounce, femur, tibia, and on and on.  so without further ado, Shawna and i would like you all to meet our daughter, Emerson Paige Spencer:

The Big Reveal

Tomorrow will mark week 19 of pregnancy.  I continue to read up on how many ounces the baby is (aka-what is the fruit equivalent of the human being growing inside of you?), the new functions the baby is learning, and all of the beautiful side effects that I should be experiencing.  So far, so good.  They say constipation is common-Thank the good Lord, this one has skipped me so far.  Indigestion?  It has decreased for the most part.  Weight gain-hardly any, but I can definitely see and feel my expanding belly.  Hormonal side effects-I tend to cry at the television much more than I used to, but it generally is emotionally charged stuff.  Jeopardy doesn't push me over the edge, but the ASPCA commercials definitely can if I don't change the channel quick enough.

From all I've read, it is not uncommon for women who are "fluffy", shall we say, to not put on as much weight as the women who are underweight or of a normal weight when they get pregnant.  So, as long as my doctor continues to okay my weight on my monthly check-ins, I will continue to keep my diet as it has been...eat what sounds good when I'm hungry.  The other night I made some chocolate ice cream.  Sounds like a pregnant girl's dream, right?  Eh-I ate a scoop or two and gave the rest to Travis.  In fact, I think that so far Travis has put on a few more pounds than I have thus far...but he also needs it more than I do.  I haven't really experienced true cravings.  I had a little kick with nectarines, but they just happened to be the most delicious nectarines ever.  I've since purchased nectarines, and they continue to disappoint in their flavor and texture.

Thursday is the big day.  I get to drink until my bladder floats and lay on a table for a technician to press with a cold, wet wand on that exact location...but in earnest, I'm so excited.  I have felt from day one that we are having a girl.  Another YouTube pregnancy extravaganza I went on was all about gender tests.  They range anywhere from food ingredients such as red cabbage or baking soda (all of which are mixed with a healthy dose of urine), to swinging a variety of objects over a variety of body parts.  I gave in to curiosity and tried the pencil pendulum over the wrist.  Sure enough, after it stopped wiggling in each of the possible 360 degrees, it did a perfect horizontal line.  This signifies a girl according to the woman who filmed herself at the kitchen table, confirming my suspicions.  In fact, I have felt this so strongly that so far I have nursery colors, names, and everything centered around girls.  If it's a boy, we shall start from scratch.  We will be perfectly happy either way, mind you.  My other scientific experiment regarding the sex of our baby has to do with the other pregnant girls around me.  My father's younger cousin's wife, Jess, is due for her first-which they've just discovered in the past week is a boy.  Another friend, who is pregnant with her second, has discovered that her second boy is on the way.  Scientifically, it seems like all three out of the three pregnancies as boys would put the world's spinning at a stand still.

On a side note-having a due date on New Year's Eve definitely makes it difficult to send out cute little pregnancy announcements with the year written next to a teeny-tiny pair of shoes, or written underneath an "Expected to Pop" balloon.  My wager is that we'll be pushing into 2014, but at this point there is truly only one omniscient being who knows.    

And so, I will make a definite post once we have discovered whether boy or girl.  I probably won't have a big party about it, nor will I send out announcements giving all the details.  Facebook will probably be the primary go-to for filling everyone in.  My biggest hope is that he or she is not camera shy, otherwise we will all be disappointed...and I will have to continue deciding which shade of pink will work in the nursery :)